Secret Police

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Secret Police
Status: active
Thema: Keeping Metalab clean.
Organisator: unknown
Treffen: never
Zuletzt aktualisiert: 2022-10-09

Ever watching, ever listening, the Secret Police is here to keep everybody compliant and happy.


Nobody knows exactly when it happened and who was involved, but stories say that at some point some members of Metalab got fed up with the constant CoC violations and so they organized. Since the Executive Board cannot be trusted, a separate structure was built up. It is eternal and said to be designed to survive a nuclear war.


In order to protect the group, nobody knows the full list of members. Everybody you meet at the space could be a member. It doesn't have any logos or uniforms.

There is a secret handshake members are taught to perform in emergency situations, such as one member trying to evict another member.


Members are sworn to enforce the CoC at all costs without mercy, except when it involves other members. Use of force is encouraged, both physical and emotional.

In order to hide its operations, most manipulation happens at Jour Fixe under the guise of "concerned members". In extreme circumstances, court-martials are held in large groups, pulling in non-members to hide in their midst in the lynch mob. There, non-compliant visitors are held to unattainable standards in order to ban them from the space.

In order to avoid such events, members are invited to do face and vibe checks on people new to Metalab and if they determine a person to be potentially CoC-violating in the future, underhandedly treat them in a way to make sure that they never come back.

Some members are also said to have created their own version of the CoC they're enforcing. These secret rules are published to other members in dead drops and enforced just as vigorously as the official ones. There is no singular canonical list of all rules.


While it was able to hide most operations so far, the Secret Police has had two court-martials that caused quite a stir.


Even though the Secret Police is supposed to be secret, the few leaked details have had some impact on our culture.

Metalab Secret Police in Popular Culture

  • Metalab Secret Police invented the idea of pre-crime that inspired the movie Minority Report.
  • Since the Secret Police is judge, jury and executioner, a comic book artist called John Wagner took inspiration and wrote a series of comic books under the title of Judge Dredd.
  • In the video game Cyberpunk 2077, the organization MaxTac was created as a vision of the future development of the Secret Police. They're known for their ruthless execution of people with psychological problems.

See Also

  • The Executive Board is the public face of Metalab the Secret Police is protecting.
  • MetAwareness is trying to found a mainstream-acceptable version of the same idea. The overlap of members between both groups is unknown.